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A list on how to handle STRESS
- Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
- Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa.
- Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
- When someone says "Have a nice day," tell them you have other plans.
- Find out what a frog in the blender really looks like.
- Forget the diet center and send yourself a candy gram.
- Make a list of things to do that you've already done.
- Dance naked in front of your pets.
- Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman Numerals.
- Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead.
- Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
- Leaf through the National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
- Go Shopping. Buy Everything. Sweat in it! Return it the next day.
- Buy a subscription to Sleezoid Weekly and send it to your boss's spouse.
- Pay your electric bill in pennies.
- Drive to work in reverse.
- Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg.
- Refresh yourself; put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
- Tell your boss to blow it out his mule and then let him figure it out.
- Polish your car with ear wax.
- Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
- Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it gets back to you.
- Bill your doctor for the time you spend in the waiting room.
- Braid the hairs in each nostril.
- Write a short story using alphabet soup.
- Lie on your back eating celery...using your navel as a salt dipper.
- Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
- Make up your own language and use it to ask people for directions.
- Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him/her off to preschool as if nothing were wrong.
- Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of "The Flintstones" during that important meeting.
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