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A list on how to handle STRESS

  1. Jam 39 tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
  2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa.
  3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
  4. When someone says "Have a nice day," tell them you have other plans.
  5. Find out what a frog in the blender really looks like.
  6. Forget the diet center and send yourself a candy gram.
  7. Make a list of things to do that you've already done.
  8. Dance naked in front of your pets.
  9. Retaliate for tax woes by filling out your tax forms with Roman Numerals.
  10. Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead.
  11. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places.
  12. Leaf through the National Geographic and draw underwear on the natives.
  13. Go Shopping. Buy Everything. Sweat in it! Return it the next day.
  14. Buy a subscription to Sleezoid Weekly and send it to your boss's spouse.
  15. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
  16. Drive to work in reverse.
  17. Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg.
  18. Refresh yourself; put your tongue on a cold steel guardrail.
  19. Tell your boss to blow it out his mule and then let him figure it out.
  20. Polish your car with ear wax.
  21. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
  22. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it gets back to you.
  23. Bill your doctor for the time you spend in the waiting room.
  24. Braid the hairs in each nostril.
  25. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
  26. Lie on your back eating celery...using your navel as a salt dipper.
  27. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
  28. Make up your own language and use it to ask people for directions.
  29. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him/her off to preschool as if nothing were wrong.
  30. Relax by mentally reflecting on your favorite episode of "The Flintstones" during that important meeting.

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